Tuesday, August 28, 2012
This summer was one heat wave after another which can start to be exhausting. I so look forward to summer, winter being my least favorite month but I feel nothing was accomplished this summer as it was too hot to work outside in the gardens. We had so little rain, the lawns and gardens were parched, they are just now starting to get somewhat revived.
With going in the pool as much as three times a day the only lotion that went on my face, arms and legs was sun tan products. I've never worn make-up around home and don't use it very liberally when I go shopping or out to restaurants although there are those who probably think I should!
I haven't purchased a bottle of perfume for twenty years at least, have received some as gifts but when one lives in Muskoka where black flies greet you each spring and love perfume, one tends not to use it much if it all..plus my husband isn't fond of it. He also wouldn't care if I never saw the inside of a lipstick tube either..If he sees I'm wearing lipstick he tends to shy away from kissing me..he prefers me in other words with no make-up and no perfume..
I decided this summer to be "very" brave and not wear any make-up even for our Friday night date nights, for shopping, for days out with girlfriends. Believe it or not I'm starting to get used to myself without any added foundation dabbed here and there, like on the dark areas under my eyes, or eye liner, lipstick or powder..
When we are teenagers we don't usually like anything about ourselves..everytime I'd look in a mirror I'd pick out lots of things I didn't like..my thick dark hair, my nose, my eye lids like my mothers, with too much skin, making my eyes look smaller. Well after looking at myself every day, 365 days a year for sixty plus years I've begun to make peace with this face..the alternative would be for some surgery and I've thought how nice that extra skin on my eyelids would be if it was gone but then maybe I'd have this wide-eyed surprised look all the time..eye shadow is wasted on me..
A new nose would be awesome but then this is the face God gave me and He must have had a reason to combine my features this way so why mess with it? Besides I have better places to spend my money. A little under eye liner, some blush, a dab of foundation here and there, a great lipstick and I've shed at least 6 months off my age..well okay, maybe a week!
I find lipstick never last anyways, by the time I get to my destination, it's gone..has anyone noticed how heavy compacts, lipsticks etc., make your purse? How freeing to not have to lug a big make-up bag all over, my shoulders will thank me..We are going to a wedding in Victoria, B.C. in a couple of weeks and I'm wondering if I'm brave enough to do without the eye liner, blush, lipstick etc..when hubby's daughter got married in Cuba in 2010 I forgot my eye liner and actually survived..not one person said: "you have a naked look about you!"
No one told me to take hair spray there either, I don't even own any and when the wind played havoc with my hair I survived that also..even when my sister-in-law said: "your hair looks good with wings"...good grief....Wings!!! I ran to the nearest mirror..
It's so freeing to finally accept the face that looks back at me in the mirror now, it's not so bad after all, I've earned all the worry lines, the grey hair and yes, I now wish it was thicker like in my youth but at least I still have some..I've accepted my eyes without eyeliner, a dark pencil line drawn from the outside in, but just half way in order not to make my small eyes look even smaller..without the blush and who knows how to make it look natural anyways..and what about those emails telling us that some lipsticks are dangerous for us..do we read all the labels on everything and if we did, do we know what all the chemicals mean..I sure don't..don't even know what's in half my boxed foods..
My brother says if we can't pronounce it, we shouldn't be eating it..I digress, but then I always do..my husband said I can bring up a dozen topics in one conversation..I just say that's what makes me more intertesting, ha, ha...so as the wedding packing day approaches, I will be wrestling with myself, do I take make-up or don't I? Perhaps my summer tan will suffice. It will be a very brave move if I can manage it, going to a wedding with my face as the canvas the way God made it.....
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Just ask my husband if my thoughts can be scattered..if I can start one job with the best of intentions and end up wasting hours doing twelve other things totally unrelated. Today my thoughts are scrambled, flitter here and there.
We've had a very hot summer here in Muskoka, with temperatures hovering between 32 and 40 degrees celcius many days. It wouldn't have been so bad to be sweltering day after day if we could have had a good, serious rain shower at least once a week..This did not happen and our garden suffered, our lawn grew parched, died and looked more like cement than a lush green lawn.
But at the end of last week, things changed..we had rain for three days straight and lots of it. My two rain barrels are full again, my two wash tubs are full and overflowing. I didn't want to waste this water the first day of rain, not knowing if we'd get anymore so I took a pail and used the water on flower beds. As I gaze at the lawn I wonder if it will come back to it's orginal lushness but I imagine it will be too late for this year.
We are enjoying yellow beans from the garden now and the green peppers should be ready to eat in a week or two..I've thinned one row of carrots and their delicious sweetness makes me want to pick them all and eat them in one sitting..but I will resist. The garden will burst forth now with this blessed addition of rain..
Now my mind jumps to my brother Kim turning sixty! Sixty!! Wow, the years go by swiftly, out of five siblings there are now four of us in our sixties with Dale turning sixty-five this month and starting to collect her pension. I can remember getting my first senior's pension cheque and how exciting that was! It sure helps take some of the pain away from reaching the pinnacle of 65 years.
Speaking of my sister her son Jon, my nephew who had the motorcycle accident 3 weeks ago is making small strides in his recovery. He is now over his pneumonia, the nurses are helping him to sit on the edge of his bed from time to time. He is out of the critical care room into his own room now. He has the ventilator out, breathing on his own and talking to his parents. He has called his son on the phone and wants to see him..He needs to eat more, his heart rate is still a bit high and he is just seeing light and dark so far, but doctors are checking his eyes daily. Having diabetes since childhood is adding to some of his problems, like controlling his sugar. But we continue to pray for his complete recovery, for the day he finally leaves the hospital..
Grey days often make me feel grey and gloomy..funny how I always feel so energized when the sun is shining and should be outside enjoying the great day but instead I'm washing a floor or hunting down cobwebs! Of course they are highlighted so well when the sun is coming through the windows!..I usually spend most of my summer gardening, weeding, trimming, planting new flowers, moving others. But the heat this summer has grounded me and I've felt like I've been in limbo a lot. Also the worry over my nephew has added to my "grey" mood. My friends are busy themselves, so that the times we get together are dimished. Cooler temperatures of fall bring us back together again.
In my younger years I used to struggle with deep depression off and on, so now I recognize the symptoms, either not wanting to eat or wanting to eat more and more, especially sweets like chocolate bars. So I want to keep at bay any deep depression that lingers and debilitates. I need to guard against it taking a stranglehold on me, blocking light and activity from my life. I find going for a walk changes my perspective very quickly and is good for me physically as well..I won't let the demon depression gets it's tight grip on me again. I need to be strong for my sister and her family, do what I can to help them through this huge trial in their life.
Grey days often bring rain and it's something we've needed desperately this summer. I will take delight in the grey days, the wet days as the trees, gardens, flower beds all need it so badly. I will rejoice that my nephew is healing, is talking and making changes day by day. We had the thrill of entertaining our granddaughter this week, she can wreck havoc in a room in five seconds flat but she is so much fun and my heart loves to hear her yell: "Nannyeeee!"
The bits and pieces of our sunny days and our grey days add to the huge kaleidoscope of our lives, it's up to us to control the amount of blackness that forms the pattern and replace it with shots of brilliant color..today is a grey day, it's going to rain again, in fact it's supposed to rain three or four days in the coming week. But I'm going to be looking for the rainbow at the end!