Sunday, August 12, 2012

Sunshine and Grey Days, Bits and Pieces

Just ask my husband if my thoughts can be scattered..if I can start one job with the best of intentions and end up wasting hours doing twelve other things totally unrelated. Today my thoughts are scrambled, flitter here and there.

We've had a very hot summer here in Muskoka, with temperatures hovering between 32 and 40 degrees celcius many days. It wouldn't have been so bad to be sweltering day after day if we could have had a good, serious rain shower at least once a week..This did not happen and our garden suffered, our lawn grew parched, died and looked more like cement than a lush green lawn.

But at the end of last week, things changed..we had rain for three days straight and lots of it. My two rain barrels are full again, my two wash tubs are full and overflowing. I didn't want to waste this water the first day of rain, not knowing if we'd get anymore so I took a pail and used the water on flower beds. As I gaze at the lawn I wonder if it will come back to it's orginal lushness but I imagine it will be too late for this year.

We are enjoying yellow beans from the garden now and the green peppers should be ready to eat in a week or two..I've thinned one row of carrots and their delicious sweetness makes me want to pick them all and eat them in one sitting..but I will resist. The garden will burst forth now with this blessed addition of rain..

Now my mind jumps to my brother Kim turning sixty! Sixty!! Wow, the years go by swiftly, out of five siblings there are now four of us in our sixties with Dale turning sixty-five this month and starting to collect her pension. I can remember getting my first senior's pension cheque and how exciting that was! It sure helps take some of the pain away from reaching the pinnacle of 65 years.

Speaking of my sister her son Jon, my nephew who had the motorcycle accident 3 weeks ago is making small strides in his recovery. He is now over his pneumonia, the nurses are helping him to sit on the edge of his bed from time to time. He is out of the critical care room into his own room now. He has the ventilator out, breathing on his own and talking to his parents. He has called his son on the phone and wants to see him..He needs to eat more, his heart rate is still a bit high and he is just seeing light and dark so far, but doctors are checking his eyes daily. Having diabetes since childhood is adding to some of his problems, like controlling his sugar. But we continue to pray for his complete recovery, for the day he finally leaves the hospital..

Grey days often make me feel grey and gloomy..funny how I always feel so energized when the sun is shining and should be outside enjoying the great day but instead I'm washing a floor or hunting down cobwebs! Of course they are highlighted so well when the sun is coming through the windows!..I usually spend most of my summer gardening, weeding, trimming, planting new flowers, moving others. But the heat this summer has grounded me and I've felt like I've been in limbo a lot. Also the worry over my nephew has added to my "grey" mood. My friends are busy themselves, so that the times we get together are dimished. Cooler temperatures of fall bring us back together again.

In my younger years I used to struggle with deep depression off and on, so now I recognize the symptoms, either not wanting to eat or wanting to eat more and more, especially sweets like chocolate bars. So I want to keep at bay any deep depression that lingers and debilitates. I need to guard against it taking a stranglehold on me, blocking light and activity from my life. I find going for a walk changes my perspective very quickly and is good for me physically as well..I won't let the demon depression gets it's tight grip on me again. I need to be strong for my sister and her family, do what I can to help them through this huge trial in their life.

Grey days often bring rain and it's something we've needed desperately this summer. I will take delight in the grey days, the wet days as the trees, gardens, flower beds all need it so badly. I will rejoice that my nephew is healing, is talking and making changes day by day. We had the thrill of entertaining our granddaughter this week, she can wreck havoc in a room in five seconds flat but she is so much fun and my heart loves to hear her yell: "Nannyeeee!"

The bits and pieces of our sunny days and our grey days add to the huge kaleidoscope of our lives, it's up to us to control the amount of blackness that forms the pattern and replace it with shots of brilliant is a grey day, it's going to rain again, in fact it's supposed to rain three or four days in the coming week. But I'm going to be looking for the rainbow at the end!

1 comment:

  1. So Happy to hear from you. Recognize those signs and get help. The blackness of depression is no where you want to be! I am glad your nephew is in recovery, how scary. My garden is huge and full of weeds, but it is producing so I do not care!.